Meditating Yourself Into Mayhem
When spirituality is used as escape instead of transformation.
1. Before
In his late forties, this client came into my work as a sincere spiritual seeker, but one caught in deep distortion. His life was in disarray: divorced, estranged from both sons, facing the loss of his home, back taxes, and chronic isolation that he framed as “spiritual.”
Beneath it was a long history of wounds: childhood without boundaries in key areas like sexuality, religious trauma rooted in shame and the identity of being a “sinner,” and years of addiction layered on top.
When he turned to spirituality, he misapplied the teachings. He believed awakening would arrive like a flash of light — poof — without having to face the wreckage of his choices. He clung to concepts like “it’s all illusion” as excuses to avoid responsibility. His practices, though sincere, became an escape hatch, not a path of integration.
2. The Work
When he entered the container, the gaps quickly revealed themselves:
Digestive Healing: His body bore the imprint of collapse. Severe digestive issues began to settle within two weeks, and within one month showed drastic improvement.
Naming the Bypass: We confronted how his meditation and spiritual language masked avoidance of reality and resistance to facing the results of his choices
Grounding in Embodiment: Shifting focus from abstract “awakening” to the tangible work of stabilizing his body, nervous system, and choices.
Responsibility as Spiritual Practice: Helping him see that facing back taxes, repairing relationships, and telling the truth of his life were as much “practice” as mantra or meditation.
Holding the Mirror: Naming the enormous ego and resistance that repeatedly threatened to blow up the container — and resetting boundaries each time.
3. The Turning Points
Realizing that his reliance on teachings like “everything is illusion” had kept him from seeing what was real and were actually not well understood.
Acknowledging that spirituality is not a bypass from responsibility but a deeper call into it.
Facing the grief of lost relationships and beginning to reconnect with family.
Accepting that awakening is not instantaneous, but requires living truth day by day.
4. The Aftermath
While his path is ongoing, the changes are real:
Digestive health, once in crisis, stabilized and improved.
He has begun to reconnect with family, softening some of the isolation he once used to set himself apart.
He is facing financial and practical responsibilities rather than avoiding them.
His relationship with spirituality is shifting from grandiose performance to grounded practice.
5. The Reflection
This journey illustrates the shadow side of spiritual seeking. Without embodiment, teachings become distorted. “It’s all illusion” becomes an excuse. Meditation becomes an escape. The ego inflates even as the life behind it unravels.
But when the bypass is named, when the body is stabilized, and when responsibility is embraced as practice, change becomes possible. True spirituality is not about escaping the mess — it is about facing it fully, with clarity and humility.
Awakening is not poof. It is the slow, steady work of aligning truth in the Field, in the body, and in the life we live every day.
If you’ve poured yourself into practice but still find your life unraveling, you’re not broken — but you may be bypassing. True spirituality doesn’t free us from responsibility, it roots us deeper in it. If you’re ready to bring your seeking into embodied alignment, this work offers a container to face what’s real and let transformation begin.
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